lyrics lately

Open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see
That I’m still the only one who’s been in love with me
I’m just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth
And there’s nothing I can do about it
– 
Harry Styles, “Only Angel”

She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes
Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect
And all the boys, they were saying they were into it
Such a pretty face, on a pretty neck
– Harry Styles, “Kiwi”

What a feeling to be right here beside you now
Holding you in my arms
When the air ran out and we both started running wild
The sky fell down
But you’ve got stars, they’re in your eyes
And I’ve got something missing tonight
What a feeling to be a king beside you, somehow
I wish I could be there now

– One Direction, “What a Feeling”

Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night
Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies
Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light
//
And if you don’t love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain
(Never break the chain)
And if you don’t love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain
– Fleetwood Mac, “The Chain”

I want her long blonde hair, I want her magic touch
Yeah, ‘cause maybe then, you’d want me just as much
I gotta girl crush
– Little Big Town, “Girl Crush”

I’ll keep a picture of you on the wall, of you on the wall
And choke on the memories
I’ll keep a message of you if you call, of you if you call
And choke on the memories

– OneRepublic, “Choke”

I remember it, it was a night just like this
One of those moments that just slip
But you just feel it from your heart to your fingertips, yeah
And I remember it, it was a late summer bliss
One of those moments that just slip
But you feel it from your heart to your fingertips, yeah
– OneRepublic, “Fingertips”

So I tell myself, I tell myself
One: Don’t pick up the phone
You know he’s only callin’ ’cause he’s drunk and alone
Two: Don’t let him in
You’ll have to kick him out again
Three: Don’t be his friend
You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you’re under him, you ain’t gettin’ over him
I got new rules, I count ’em
I gotta tell them to myself
– Dua Lipa, “New Rules”

And oh, love, watch the sun coming up
Don’t it feel fucked up we’re not in love
//
My shadow’s dancing
Without you for the first time
My heart is hoping
You’ll walk right in tonight
Tell me there are things that you regret
‘Cause if I’m being honest I ain’t over you yet
It’s all I’m asking
Is it too much to ask?

– Niall Horan, “Too Much to Ask”

You shine like a star
You know who you are
You’re everything beautiful
//
We stayed up in the city
Until the stars lost the war
//
I wish I knew you when I was young
We could’ve got so high
Now we’re here it’s been so long
Two strangers in the bright lights
– The Revivalists, “I Wish I Knew You”

I don’t wanna know about your new man
‘Cause if it was meant to be
You wouldn’t be callin’ me up tryin’ to fuck
‘Cause I’m positive that he don’t wanna know about me

– Ed Sheeran, “New Man”

‘Cause baby you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I’ll feel it too
And until then I’ll smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you

– Ed Sheeran, “Happier”

When thunder clouds start pouring down
Light a fire they can’t put out
Carve your name into those shining stars
He said, “Go venture far beyond these shores.
Don’t forsake this life of yours.
I’ll guide you home no matter where you are.”
//
One day my father—he told me,
“Son, don’t let it slip away.”
When I was just a kid I heard him say,
//
“When you get older
Your wild heart will live for younger days
Think of me if ever you’re afraid.”
//
He said, “One day you’ll leave this world behind
So live a life you will remember.”
My father told me when I was just a child
These are the nights that never die
– Avicii, “The Nights”

You
You’ve already gone
I can feel it’s the end between us
You’re so far away from me
If you have to leave
I’ll understand completely
But I’m gonna hold on to you
With two hands
– The Romantic Era, “With Two Hands”

Just stop your crying, it’s a sign of the times
Welcome to the final show
Hope you’re wearing your best clothes
You can’t bribe the door on your way to the sky
You look pretty good down here
But you ain’t really good
//
Just stop your crying, have the time of your life
Breaking through the atmosphere
And things are pretty good from here
Remember everything will be alright
We can meet again somewhere
Somewhere far away from here
– Harry Styles, “Sign of the Times”

The one thing I love more than being with you
And that’s late nights, doing what I wanna do
I got sleep eyes, I woke up like this
Feel like, aw shit, throw some bacon on it
One thing I love more than being with you
And that’s no ties, no drama in my life
Yeah I, I woke up like this
Feel like, aw shit, throw some bacon on it
One thing I love more than being with you
– Nick Jonas, “Bacon”

751707090435814070915

sad songs

“We met at the wrong time. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. Maybe one day years from now, we’ll meet in a coffee shop in a far away city somewhere and we could give it another shot.”

I’m sat alone in Letna park, in a patch of shade overlooking the Old Town of Prague. The three Australian girls I met in my hostel room last night have just left me, and for the first time in over a week, I have a chance to think. To reflect, to write. And in a way, to grieve.

Last night, I saw a man in a suit hand over the lead of a black lab puppy to a haggard-looking woman who was clearly on drugs. He paid her 100 CZK in cash and she yanked the dog harshly, holding the leash tight and dragging it upwards by the neck, making it yelp. Watching it all sort of broke my heart, and I wanted to cry. 

Some people might say I’m a pessimist, and a lot of the time I’d agree with them. But deep down, when it comes to it, I’m a dreamer. A hopeless wanderer, with itchy feet and an open mind prone to fantasies. I love adventures, and the idea of romance, and I want it all, together. I used to want it abstractly and from a distance; it was more of a “someday” sort of dream than an active one. Until I got a little taste. Just a drop—three days. But it was enough.

Enough for me to want more, and to realize I probably won’t get it. Not this time, at least. It’s odd, because I’d never really worried about being clingy before I traveled. I’ve always been pretty good at separating my feelings, isolating the annoying or unnecessary in the presence of someone who might not reciprocate them. And I’ve had flings, and even hookups, during the last three months abroad. They’re fun, and they don’t last. We go our separate ways. We might stay friends on Facebook, or we might not remember any more about each other than a blurry face and a first name. That’s the unspoken rule of travel: you let go. Everyone’s here to meet people and see the world, not to stay or settle down or fall in love. Not in a way that lasts, at least. But somehow, despite knowing all of this, I sort of did.

I don’t wish it didn’t happen, not really. He’s a good, good guy. One of the best I’ve met. In fact, I can only think of one other guy I’ve known, back home, who comes across as pure and lovely as this one. My cynical British friend insists I’m naive about it, too hopeful and foolhardy. But I know. I’ve met good guys, I’ve met decent guys, bad guys as well. But only a few are… tender and pure. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s more of a feeling, that they respect you, treat you like an equal. They might be more reserved with touch because they’re a bit shy and don’t want to overstep your boundaries. They’re sweet and can express their feelings but they don’t overload you with them. They feel lucky to be with you, but not because they’re insecure. I’m doing a shit job of trying to articulate it, but like I said, when I meet one of these guys, I know.

I feel fortunate, really. It was a beautiful thing for me, and I’ll always have the memories. But it still hurts. It feels like I lost something that I only barely managed to grasp as the time slipped away. Part of it is lust, of course; I’m not entirely immune to that feeling, or the knowledge that it’s a factor in all of this. But for me at least, there was an audible click. And the hard part is not knowing whether he heard it too. Or rather, whether it was loud enough to last. Like I said, I’ve never worried about being clingy, but expectations are different with travelers. Snapchatting or messaging a few times a day at home would be normal, but I’m suddenly worried it’s too much. That maybe I’m a bother. This is all internal fear; nothing he’s done has implied as much. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised when he messaged me that day, after we’d said goodbye. I left expecting it to be over, and was prepared to resign myself to it. I prefer to leave rather than be left, so perhaps I’m overanalyzing the signs, preparing for the worst and to be the first person to take that step if need be. It’s such a long shot for anything to come of it… And yet I want something to. That’s what makes me a dreamer, and that’s what makes it hurt. Because in some parallel world or storyline, something like this could happen, and does happen, for people. The knowledge that, if feelings and motivation were mutual, something grand could emerge from a simple travel fling makes the leaving hard sometimes. Painful even. Because they often aren’t or maybe they are but the two people don’t know that they both feel the same way. Want the same thing. We’re too scared to be honest, to make ourselves vulnerable, and who knows how many opportunities we miss out on because of those fears. I fear rejection, because rejection ruins the dream. And if you let it, taints the beautiful memories. 

I’ve never had a breakup before, never had my heart broken. Not in love, anyway. This is probably the closest thing to it I’ve felt, and I don’t quite understand why. Why him, why now. I wasn’t even looking for anything that night, had worn a loose dress and little makeup and thrown my hair in a bun because I was tired of going home with someone. Tired of missing out on dancing with my friends because I’d met a guy. It’s funny how you find what you’ve been looking for when you finally stop searching for it. And it’s sad because the beginning was almost the end for us; we were both about to move on. 

I could have stayed another night. Thought about it, but not really. I was going to stick with my new friends and see another town, because after all, that’s what I’m here for. Not boys, but places. And the people I meet along the way. But then he came the next day, and stayed up all night with me, long after our friends had gone to bed, because I had to catch an early bus and didn’t want to sleep and didn’t want to miss a moment of this goodbye. I can’t say how much I appreciated that. To sleep with someone—twice—without any sex. Without feeling like I owe something, or that someone expects it from me. Not to say I didn’t want to, because I did. But I think it means more to me this way. It’s more special, rare, and therefore treasured. 

It’s hard right now to imagine meeting another guy. Charlie Puth’s lyric “Does it feel, feel like you’re never gonna find nothing better?” comes to mind. I’ve only thought that before about one other guy, the only other good, good one that I’ve known. (Known and been interested in, I should say.) And even with him, it wasn’t to this extent. That adds to the sadness, because I can’t help but wonder about the “what if’s” and the “might be’s”. Will the feelings fade? They have to, if nothing comes of them, because people move on from real relationships and breakups all the time. They survive, and thrive, and fall in love again. At the moment, I don’t understand how, but I guess I’ll just have to trust the journey. Travel is crazy, and can make you crazy, I swear it. Yet I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. 

After a week, I think that’s what I needed to say. To get it out of my system, or at least sort it out a bit in my head. Writing down my feelings helps me validate and understand them, and I’ve been in a bit of a limbo this last week having them bounce around with no sort of sense. This has been a stream-of-conscious post, which I love doing when I want to dump my thoughts and feelings onto paper (or in this case, the notes section of my phone) without worrying about making them sound orderly or pretty. Despite the fact that I’ll probably post this on my blog, it’s not for anyone else. If you can take something from it, all the better, but I wrote it for me, and I hope that if you’re reading it, you can understand and respect that. I’ve been pretty open and vulnerable, and I hope to God that doesn’t make me come across as fucking clingy. Or crazy. And that I can stop worrying about those words entirely. 

“So we’ll just let things take their course, and never be sorry.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Lyrics Lately | 4

“And the arms of the ocean are carrying me
And all this devotion was rushing over me
And the questions I have for a sinner like me
But the arms of the ocean deliver me”
– Never Let Me Go, Florence + The Machine

“A cardboard box of make believe
Empty pockets full of dreams
And you are everything I need”
– Pocket Full of Dreams, Hedley

“Baby, this is what you came for
Lightning strikes every time she moves
And everybody’s watching her
But she’s looking at you, oh, oh”
– This Is What You Came For, Calvin Harris (feat. Rihanna)

“We’re so late nights
Red eyes, amnesia, I need you”
– Drunk, ZAYN

“She wants somebody to love
To hold her
She wants somebody to love
In the right way
She wants somebody to love
To kiss her
She wants somebody to love
In the right way”
– She, ZAYN

“She’s crying out that she loves me
Holding my hands so I won’t leave
Cause baby don’t wanna be lonely
She says ‘I just want you to hold me’”
– She, ZAYN

“You’re the bad guy in this movie
And I ain’t wrong”
– Lucozade, ZAYN

“I’m sipping pink Lucozade”
– Lucozade, ZAYN

“I hope he’s leaving soon
Started not to see the elephant in this room
Disguised as your perfume
But the smell of it consumes, it takes all my mind
You can search the world but you will never find
I see everything you’ve done to me
Be there, you run to me
I don’t need to pace, I don’t need the stamina
If this shit was it, girl, I probably woulda ran from ya
Kept runnin’
Outwit, cause you cunnin’
That outfit cause you stunnin’
Begging cause I’m losing mage
Got me feeling some type of way I can’t explain
The fuck is going on?
I think I got it wrong
When I told you I was over you, or were you under me?”
– Lucozade, ZAYN

“I just love being a fool for you
‘Cause I’m a fool for you and the things you do
I’m a fool for you and the things, the things you do
This love is tainted”
– Fool for You, ZAYN

“I just want to watch you when you take it off
Take off all your makeup baby take it off”
– TiO, ZAYN

Thanks for reading.

751707090435814070915

Lyrics Lately | 3

So after a whole year of no “Lyrics Lately” posts, here’s my second in the past two days. Those college decision feels, am I right?

“But I, I’ve got a lot to say. And I’m scared that you’re gonna slip away.”
– Vance Joy, Wasted Time

“Deep in the meadow, under the willow, a bed of grass, a soft green pillow. Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes and when again they open, the sun will rise.”
– Jennifer Lawrence / James Newton Howard, Deep in the Meadow (Lullaby)

“Forget your woes and let your troubles lay, and when again it’s morning, they’ll wash away.”
– Jennifer Lawrence / James Newton Howard, Deep in the Meadow (Lullaby)

“I ain’t hung up on you, I ain’t in love with you. This is just time that I’m wasting. One or two little sips, I’m alright, I can quit. You’re just some wine that I’m tasting.”
– Carrie Underwood, Relapse

“I don’t have to have you, I don’t need to need you. Just a high that I’m chasing.”
– Carrie Underwood, Relapse

“And we’ll make it right tomorrow, but tomorrow’s not a sure thing.”
– Carrie Underwood, Clock Don’t Stop

“The clock don’t stop ticking away, away. Always hanging on the wall; no, it don’t care at all. It won’t slow down; it won’t wait. The clock don’t stop ticking away – it’s ticking away.”
– Carrie Underwood, Clock Don’t Stop

“If I would’ve known, if I would have known it could have been you. If I had the chance, if I had the chance I’d make us brand new.”
– Justin Bieber, Been You

“Feeling the remnants, caught in an instance; blink of an eye, no goodbye. I had a notion, deep as the ocean, blue like the sky, oh my. Like a permanent stain, wishing I could just wash away, away.”
– Justin Bieber, Been You

“Haunts me tonight, the ghosts are alive. All of the memories of serenity dwindle in my mind, all the time.”
– Justin Bieber, Been You

“Hello from the outside… At least I can say that I’ve tried.”
– Adele, Hello

“Up with your turret; aren’t we just terrified? Shale, screen your worry from what you won’t ever find. Don’t let it fool you. Don’t let it fool you… down. Dancing around, folds in her gown.”
– Bon Iver, Rosyln

Thanks for reading.

751707090435814070915

 

Lyrics Lately | 2

Guys. It just hit me. I haven’t done a Lyrics Lately post in over a year. That is crazy, especially considering I think about doing them all the time. I compile lists of lyrics in my head quite often, but it seems that they’ve just remained there since last November. Don’t worry, I’m not going to inundate you with a year’s worth of lyrics – this will just be a post covering the past month or so. Enjoy!

“Won’t you stay ’til the A.M.? All my favourite conversations, always made in the A.M. ‘Cause we don’t know what we’re saying; we’re just swimming round in our glasses and talking out of our asses like we’re all gonna make it (yeah, yeah).”
– One Direction, A.M.

“Hey Angel, tell me, do you ever cry when we waste away our lives?”
– One Direction, Hey Angel

“I’m not just trying to get you back on me ‘cause I’m missing more than just your body. Is it too late now to say sorry? Yeah I know that I let you down; is it too late to say I’m sorry now?”
– Justin Bieber, Sorry

“Sometimes it’s hard to do the right thing when the pressure’s coming down like lightning. It’s like they want me to be perfect when they don’t even know that I’m hurting.”
– Justin Bieber, I’ll Show You

“You know you look so Seattle but you feel so L.A.”
– Fall Out Boy, Irresistible 

“Hello from the outside. At least I can say that I’ve tried to tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart. But it don’t matter – it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore.”
– Adele, Hello

“You’re broken hearted baby – he broke your heart in two. I’ll tear my heart out baby to give up half to you.”
– Kalin and Myles, Brokenhearted

“Lips so good I forget my name. I swear I could give you everything.”
– One Direction, Never Enough

“But you’ve got stars in your eyes and I’ve got something missing tonight. What a feeling to be a king beside you, somehow – I wish I could be there now.”
– One Direction, What A Feeling

“You wanted my heart but I just liked your tattoos.”
– Ellie Goulding, On My Mind

“He sang a song when he did it. He was cold and he was so unforgiving. Now she dances to the song on the minute, yeah, all the time, all the time. It make her weak when she hear it and it got her on her knees like religion.”
– The Weeknd, In the Night

“Everything is grey – his hair, his smoke, his dreams – and now he’s so devoid of color he don’t know what it means.”
– Halsey, Colors

“He says ‘Oh, baby girl, don’t get cut on my edges. I’m the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon. There’s a light in the crack that’s separating your thighs and if you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight.’”
– Halsey, Young God

“I found a martyr; he told me that I’d never. With his educated eyes and his head between my thighs.”
– Halsey, Coming Down

“But no flame burns forever, oh no – you and I both know this all too well. And most don’t even last the night.”
– Mumford & Sons, Tompkins Square Park

“The sticks and the stones that you used to throw have built me an empire, so don’t even try to cry me a river, ‘cause I forgive you. You are the reason I still fight.”
– Bring Me the Horizon, Throne

“‘Cause you’re so gorgeous. ‘Cause you make me feel gorgeous.”
– X Ambassadors, Gorgeous

“I know what you did last summer. Just lie to me there’s no other. I know what you did last summer. Tell me where you’ve been.”
– Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello, I Know What You Did Last Summer

“I’m going back to Cali, rising, surprising, advising, realizing she’s sizing me up. Her bikini – small, heels – tall. She said she liked the ocean.”
– LL Cool J, Going Back to Cali

“I’m like, yeah, she’s fine. Wonder when she’ll be mine. She walk past, I press rewind.”
– Fetty Wap (feat. Monty), 679

Thanks for reading.

751707090435814070915