1. Today is my blogoversary. I’ve posted at least once every month in the last year, with the exception of July since I was out of town practically the entire month.
2. I had a breakdown last week. I started freaking out about college apps and where I’m applying and in what order. It’s not logical but it’s strategic – my decision is based on emotion and it scares me.
3. The next morning, I got called down to the principal’s office. I learned that I am a National Merit Semifinalist, one of six at my school. My fears haven’t dissipated, but they have faded from my forethought – for the time being.
4. I’ve been eating so much, too much. My body is barely outrunning it but it will catch up to me in the end. He always gets the last word.
5. People can still surprise me. A football player congratulated me for being a NMSF and struck up a brief but sweet conversation about college and plans and me. It impacted me a lot and has forced me to reevaluate certain stereotypes I have formed based solely on people’s extracurriculars and who they’re friends with.
6. I found out that someone I’ve had a tremendous amount of respect for throughout high school drinks and it’s bothering me. I feel as though I’ve been deceived because she paints herself to be a mature young woman and I don’t think getting wasted at a concert is mature at all.
7. I don’t like grey areas.
8. I feel fall sometimes and I am filled with a longing for the past-present-future, books and sweaters and sips of hot chai, turning leaves, crisp air, and change.
9. There is a certain finality about my senior year in high school that I never anticipated. I don’t plan on living in Tampa after college. This will be the last birthday that I celebrate with my family for a long time. I can’t buy concert tickets for next year because I don’t know where I’ll end up. This will be the last season that I can go to the Lightning’s opening night game. I’m missing the Lightning Fan Fest again this year and it hit me that there is no “next time.” If I don’t go to a high school football game this year, I never will, at least not as a high school student. I’m finding that it’s more important to attend family gatherings that I otherwise might have skipped due to homework and stress. There is no next year. At least not in Tampa.
10. I went to the 5 Seconds of Summer concert with my friend this past weekend and it was so much fun. I was sick (still am) and lost my voice even further by scream-singing along to all the songs. The guys made us laugh and are so talented; they made it very clear that they adore and appreciate their fans.
11. If you’re going to act all high and mighty, judging everyone in the vicinity and placing your morals on a pedestal, you sure as hell better stick to them. It’s a long way to fall.
12. Sarah J. Maas just announced on Twitter that her Throne of Glass series has been optioned for a TV show. I am livid – I have been crossing my fingers and praying to God for years that my favorite ongoing series that contains several of my all-time favorite characters is never adapted to the screen, whether for a movie or a show. The dreaded day has come, and I am dying. I very selfishly hope that the show never makes it into production. This show, whether I watch it or not, will ruin images and characters and world-building that I hold very near to my heart. The screen – and humans other than Sarah J. Maas – cannot possibly do this series justice. Please please please NO.
Thanks for reading.