Mid-May to Mid-August, 2016
Mid-May to Mid-August, 2016
Music is powerful and nostalgic. Certain songs that I once listened to on repeat have the power to take me back in time. I’m trying to be more conscious of what I’m listening to, so I created a list on my phone to keep track of the songs and albums that have defined the season for me. It doesn’t consist of everything I’ve listened to this fall, but it does chronologically include the big hits that I want to remember later. This playlist runs roughly from the end of August/early September to early/mid-November (I cut it off a week or so before One Direction released Made in the A.M.).
Fall Playlist | 2015
Wilder Mind – Mumford & Sons
“Jet Black Heart” – 5 Seconds of Summer
“Best of You” – Foo Fighters
“Wildest Dreams” – Taylor Swift
“What Do You Mean” – Justin Bieber
“On My Mind” – Ellie Goulding
“In the Night” – The Weeknd
Badlands – Halsey
”Throne” – Bring Me the Horizon
“Gorgeous” – X Ambassadors
“Hotline Bling” – Drake
“The Hills” – The Weeknd
“Perfect” – One Direction
“Sorry” – Justin Bieber
“Hello” – Adele
“I’ll Show You” – Justin Bieber
“Stitches” – Shawn Mendes
What have you been listening to this fall?
1. Today is my blogoversary. I’ve posted at least once every month in the last year, with the exception of July since I was out of town practically the entire month.
2. I had a breakdown last week. I started freaking out about college apps and where I’m applying and in what order. It’s not logical but it’s strategic – my decision is based on emotion and it scares me.
3. The next morning, I got called down to the principal’s office. I learned that I am a National Merit Semifinalist, one of six at my school. My fears haven’t dissipated, but they have faded from my forethought – for the time being.
4. I’ve been eating so much, too much. My body is barely outrunning it but it will catch up to me in the end. He always gets the last word.
5. People can still surprise me. A football player congratulated me for being a NMSF and struck up a brief but sweet conversation about college and plans and me. It impacted me a lot and has forced me to reevaluate certain stereotypes I have formed based solely on people’s extracurriculars and who they’re friends with.
6. I found out that someone I’ve had a tremendous amount of respect for throughout high school drinks and it’s bothering me. I feel as though I’ve been deceived because she paints herself to be a mature young woman and I don’t think getting wasted at a concert is mature at all.
7. I don’t like grey areas.
8. I feel fall sometimes and I am filled with a longing for the past-present-future, books and sweaters and sips of hot chai, turning leaves, crisp air, and change.
9. There is a certain finality about my senior year in high school that I never anticipated. I don’t plan on living in Tampa after college. This will be the last birthday that I celebrate with my family for a long time. I can’t buy concert tickets for next year because I don’t know where I’ll end up. This will be the last season that I can go to the Lightning’s opening night game. I’m missing the Lightning Fan Fest again this year and it hit me that there is no “next time.” If I don’t go to a high school football game this year, I never will, at least not as a high school student. I’m finding that it’s more important to attend family gatherings that I otherwise might have skipped due to homework and stress. There is no next year. At least not in Tampa.
10. I went to the 5 Seconds of Summer concert with my friend this past weekend and it was so much fun. I was sick (still am) and lost my voice even further by scream-singing along to all the songs. The guys made us laugh and are so talented; they made it very clear that they adore and appreciate their fans.
11. If you’re going to act all high and mighty, judging everyone in the vicinity and placing your morals on a pedestal, you sure as hell better stick to them. It’s a long way to fall.
12. Sarah J. Maas just announced on Twitter that her Throne of Glass series has been optioned for a TV show. I am livid – I have been crossing my fingers and praying to God for years that my favorite ongoing series that contains several of my all-time favorite characters is never adapted to the screen, whether for a movie or a show. The dreaded day has come, and I am dying. I very selfishly hope that the show never makes it into production. This show, whether I watch it or not, will ruin images and characters and world-building that I hold very near to my heart. The screen – and humans other than Sarah J. Maas – cannot possibly do this series justice. Please please please NO.
1. Fall is coming. Maybe not weather-wise, at least not here in Florida – it won’t get below 80 until December (we are currently stuck in the 90s.. sigh). But in scents – candles, lotions, food – and music and books and hopefully memories, fall is on its way and I am so excited.
2. Wildest Dreams blew my mind. Taylor Swift is so talented and her team is utterly fantastic. I love love love the story her new video tells in conjunction with the song. Even better, all her proceeds will go to an organization dedicated to protecting African wildlife. And don’t get me started on Scott Eastwood, oh lord. I knew this music video would be a hit with my mom simply because he’s in it.
3. 5SOS’s Jet Black Heart released today and it’s honestly a gem. An onyx gem, but a gem nonetheless. I am obsessed with its dark intensity and that is all I have to say. GO LISTEN.
4. I’ve been inspired by the wonderfulness that is Grace to maybe start keeping a journal again. I’ve done it on and off again in my seventeen years – mostly off – and I worry that I won’t be consistent with it. But my head is a tangle of emotions at the moment and it’s senior year and why not?
5. I re-memorized J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Riddle of Strider, which is one of my favorite poems. I worshiped Aragorn as I grew up watching the films and I’ve decided that once I finish my college apps – or at least my most pressing ones – I will treat myself to a read of The Lord of the Rings (among other books… my “to read after college apps” list is growing steadily but not so slowly).
6. It’s my little sister’s ninth birthday and she is finally older than I was when she was born. She’s going to get her ears pierced soon and I have a list on my phone of advice I’ve collected for her over the past few years. I’ll give it to her when she’s going into middle and high school but I doubt she’ll need it as much as I
did do. In many ways, she’s stronger than I am.
7. I feel eternally busy and for some reason it doesn’t feel like a bad thing right now.
8. Mantra: I have a lot to look forward to.
9. /There’s a hole/ In my heart/ And it echoes/ In your presence./
/Did you know?/
10. Friends can break your heart too.
These are pieces of lyrics that have really spoken to me or that I’ve just been loving recently. A lot of them I particularly like with the music of the song, so they may look strange just written out.
“Love’s a game, wanna play?”
– Taylor Swift, Blank Space
“Where do broken hearts go?”
– One Direction, Where Do Broken Hearts Go
“It’s all fun and games ’til somebody loses their mind.”
– Taylor Swift, Wonderland
“One night he wakes, strange look on his face. Pauses then says, “You’re my best friend.” And you knew what it was: he is in love.”
– Taylor Swift, You Are In Love
“The bed’s getting cold and you’re not here. The future that we hold is so unclear. But I’m not alive until you call.”
– Selena Gomez, The Heart Wants What It Wants
“How did we end up talking in the first place?… How did we end up here?… Everybody thought you were so insane ‘cause you were so far out of my league.”
– 5 Seconds of Summer, End Up Here
“I hope you find a way to be yourself someday, in weakness or in strength. Change can be amazing. So I pray for the best, I pray for the best for you. I wish you could be honest, I wish you could be honest with me.”
– The Neighbourhood, Honest
“Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate hate… Fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake… I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. I shake it off, I shake it off.”
– Taylor Swift, Shake It Off
“But you will remember me, remember me for centuries.”
– Fall Out Boy, Centuries
“I’m slowly drifting away wave after wave, wave after wave. I’m slowly drifting (drifting away) and it feels like I’m drowning, pulling against the stream.”
– Mr. Probz, Waves
“Afraid to lose control and caught up in this world, I’ve wasted time, I’ve wasted breath. I think I’ve thought myself to death.”
– KONGOS, Come With Me Now
“So blame it on the night; don’t blame it on me, don’t blame it on me.”
– Calvin Harris feat. John Newman, Blame
“You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve and I have always buried them deep beneath the ground.”
– Bastille, Flaws
“I could’ve been a princess, you’d be a king. Could’ve had a castle, and worn a ring. But no, you let me go and stole my star.”
– Coldplay feat. Rihanna, Princess of China
“‘Cause in a sky, ’cause in a sky full of stars, I think I see you.”
– Coldplay, A Sky Full Of Stars
“She said to me, “Forget what you thought ‘cause good girls are bad girls that haven’t been caught.””
– 5 Seconds of Summer, Good Girls
“She sleeps alone; my heart wants to come home. I wish I was, I wish I was beside you. She lies awake; I’m trying to find the words to say. I wish I was, I wish I was beside you.”
– 5 Seconds of Summer, Beside You
“But hold me fast, hold me fast ‘cause I’m a hopeless wanderer.”
– Mumford & Sons, Hopeless Wanderer
“But oh my heart was flawed; I knew my weakness. So hold my hand; consign me not to darkness. So crawl on my belly ’til the sun goes down, I’ll never wear your broken crown. I took the road and I fucked it all away. Now in this twilight, how dare you speak of grace?”
– Mumford & Sons, Broken Crown
“There’s a drumming noise inside my head that starts when you’re around. I swear that you could hear it; it makes such an almighty sound. Louder than sirens, louder than bells, sweeter than heaven, and hotter than hell.”
– Florence + The Machine, Drumming Song
“Let’s have another toast to the girl almighty. Let’s pray we stay young, stay made of lightning.”
– One Direction, Girl Almighty
“And I know in my heart you’re not a constant star… But I’m not done yet falling for you: fool’s gold.”
– One Direction, Fool’s Gold