the spring

Light staggers through the trees.
Every moment is filled with other moments.
Richard Jackson, from “About This Poem,” Out of Place: Poems (Ashland Poetry Press, 2014)
It’s so strange, the flow of time. How its passing seems slower or quicker than it actually is, depending on the season, the semester, the people I’m surrounded by. And how it flows differently for different people depending on their circumstances. This spring has been one of the best of my life. So much has changed, I’ve grown so much, and everything that caused me unhappiness in the fall seems to have turned completely around. If I’m being honest, I’m sad to see it end, to have summer right around the corner—just four days away—if only because I can’t quite recall the last period of time I’ve been this content. This happy. They say all good things must come to an end, and I wonder whether I’ll be able to pick it all back up again in the fall. Whether the people I’ve met, the internal changes, will be the same. Of course, realistically, they won’t be. Four months is a long time, and everyone will change over summer. How much, is probably a better question.
I’m sure I will change too. I’m going to travel on my own on at least two other continents for over a month. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous—about navigating places and cultures and languages so different from my own, all alone. I’m nervous about the little details, and getting everything in order, and whether I’ve planned everything right (or perhaps too much). I’m nervous about fitting five or six weeks’ worth of stuff in a tiny carry on bag, and about being too worried about logistics to actually enjoy my trip. But I’m also incredibly excited to see other parts of the world and do it alone and be totally self-sufficient. I know I can handle it. I hope I will well.
This semester has definitely been defined more by my social life than by school. It’s been an adjustment, but a good one; one that I hope will lead to a better school/life balance in the future. I’ve met some wonderful people, and grown closer to friends from the fall. I certainly have branched out, in more ways than one, and, as my mom put it, have really come out of my shell. I’m proud of my growth, my increased social confidence, and my open-mindedness. This spring has felt a bit like junior year of high school, just ten times better.
I’ve honestly had the time of my life.
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