infinite

Today the sky was blue. Not blueish, not stained with white wisps of air and water, not fragmented by Apollo’s rays. Pure blue, so blue you’d think the sky went on forever, that there is no universe beyond this moment but that there is at the same time because surely this can’t be the end. Today the grass was green. A vivid, luscious, effervescent jungle springing up from the ground, filled with wildflowers where before there were none. The dirt was deep and beautiful and brown. The bricks that were mortared together a century ago were suddenly as vibrant as the red ribbon he tied my hair back with in another lifetime. The world had come to life, returned to its full glory, if only for a day.

Today the world was colourful. It was more beautiful than a chrome filter, more striking than most people ever dare to dream. I swear I saw a rainbow today, and not in the sky after the early morning showers, but everywhere I looked in nature and in the oldness of it all. The wind was crisp and cool; it felt like a gentle breeze whispering ”you’re home. Today I felt like I belonged, like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, like everything is right. Peace, content, still, wonder. Today was one of the few glorious days where I stood in the middle of my driveway after school and was overwhelmingly glad to be alive.

Today is the day we live for. The day we stop and think and reflect instead of go go going and planning and wallowing in the misery of now. The day that Elpis’s spirit is infused in all of our bones, seeping into our marrow until hope reaches our core, casting out our deepest fears, our shallowest troubles, all of our weariness. Amazing us with the lucid simplicity of it all. I wish days like this came more often, days when the world is so beautiful that all I want to do is run run run to the woods, to another continent, to every place I’ve never been before, but I want to stay here and enjoy the fleeting beauty at the same time and even if I did run it wouldn’t be to escape like usual. But if every day were like today, we would lose our humanity, our ability to appreciate it; we would ruin, destroy, trample all over the signs.

So maybe tomorrow will be faded again, like a washed-out old film, hazy because the human race struggles to see clearly through all of its agony. Maybe tomorrow I’ll curse the gods or God or whoever created this damn existence. But today I thanked them.

Because today I felt infinite.

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